A new friend of mine, Mark Jones, met the Dalai Lama a few years ago, and asked him for his thoughts on how to work for peace. DL said, simply, "People want to be heard, seen, and loved in that order."
This is a profound insight, which Mark refers to as HSL, or "HIZZLE"! The failure or lack of HSL in any relationship can make things go from bad to worse. The feeling by either side in a conflict that they are not heard heard, seen, or loved by the other side can quickly lead to stubborn and violent opposition. For each of us who aspires to be a peacemaker, the challenge we face is how to practice HSL in each and every encounter in our lives: every meeting, every transaction, every interaction, every conversation.